im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
