Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
