my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
