yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
