I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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