just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
COCAINE IS GR8
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