What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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