Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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(410): View more from Maryland

she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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(630): View more from Illinois

don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here

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(212): View more from New York

it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(210): View more from Texas

It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...

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(618): View more from Illinois

As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument

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