Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im part way to drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
