you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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