If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
