Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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