Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
did you just send me my own nude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
