How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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