So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They took my balls.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
