Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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