do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
