I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
not ubering you a puppy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
