it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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