Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When are your genitals available?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
