Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
