no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
