For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
