i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You don't make any sense
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