if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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