I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
