what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
