Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
