Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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