He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
