? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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