go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
