their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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