i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
