The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
