literally had 100 drinks last night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
