ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
