he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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