guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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