It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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