Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize