I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You don't make any sense
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