Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
