My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
