Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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