So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
