How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
