I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
