Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
