Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
