He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
